Why My Dad Says I’m Unemployable..

Why My Dad Says I’m Unemployable..

I’ve always rebelled against systems and done things my way; but, that didn’t always go over well in school, at a job or with my parents rules and beliefs. I didn’t like anything that bounded me and always felt like I had a better way of doing things.
Teachers, family, my peers and society attempted to put me into a uniformed box by telling me what I can and can not do, say and think – going against everything I believed in – Including my personal freedom.
It seemed that in most schools and businesses, there was a lack of team or leadership skills and it was painful and discouraging when my ideas and feedback was disregarded without any discussion or consideration. I felt let down and disappointed by societies suppression of individuality and the outdated systems that create conformity.

Even though I went from high school drop out, who was lost and confused; there was a driving thirst inside that wanted more out of life than the social systems imposed on me.
Through courage and determination I found my way!
I became a personal trainer, began running events, and owned an integrative medical centre.
The key to my success in these areas, and continues to be, is that they were expressions of my life’s purpose and my passion to support others in creating the best life possible. To support others in also living their purpose, from the heart, with a sense of freedom and in a state of gratitude and happiness.

At 26, after losing 80lbs and then becoming a personal trainer, I felt a calling and longing for a deeper understanding of myself and life. I set out in search to learn more. I attended a Tony Robbins event called Date With Destiny that rattled me to the bone. It turned my world upside down and it totally changed my life.

It was at that event that I realized I didn’t have to keep pushing against my conditioning, but instead, I could step into my greatest potential! I didn’t have to have a job just to pay bills and keep a roof over my head. I could actually do something I love, that I’m passionate about, that would make a difference in this world and have a positive impact on others. I could get paid to do all of that!
So can YOU!

At that event I called my boss, at the time, and told him I quit.
The taste of sweet freedom to be my own person and do things on my terms has been the best decision I have ever made!
I’ve never looked back and my life has never been the same.

I must say, however, being your own boss is not luxurious: it takes commitment to yourself, your purpose, and to something greater than any one person. It means learning and growing everyday. Through your passion you will find better and more efficient ways of doing the things you don’t always want to do. It means long hours and laser like focus to create your vision. It means falling, a lot, and getting back up. It means a lot of no’s until you get a yes. It means trusting yourself and listening to your inner guidance, even when the outside world is saying something else. It means YOU are solely responsible for your wins and your losses. You fail, you learn, you move on, or, you allow it to consume you and lose sight of what you’re here for.
The great thing is, that it is all YOUR choice.

Then, eventually, you learn about something called balance, which is the only thing that keeps you sane. It’s your saving grace. It’s where you refuel to keep going.

After all the hard work, commitments, sweat and tears, you start to see the light. You get glimpses into the impact your life’s work is having on the world and those around you. That impact is what continually stokes your inner flame.
When you become successful, in whatever form that takes on for you, you have a genuine sense of living your truth, a deeper peace and knowing that you’re aligned with your purpose. You know that what you’re sharing and contributing with the world is much bigger than just you alone..
It becomes an expression of your heart, of what you feel you came here to do.
It becomes a space of soulful gratitude that is unexplainable with words.

Since I was a kid I’ve always beat to my own drum. My dad told me that from a young age I knew what I wanted and always went for it. There’s something inside of me that has an innate knowing of what is true. I listened to that truth and no matter what anyone else had to say, I followed it.
I believe you have that too.

I’m inviting you to fully step into your Greatness and Purpose..

To do more than just survive each day, to change your routine, to do something different, do what inspires you! Get uncomfortable. Do something you’re terrified of but have always wanted to do. Live this life to the fullest! Everything out on the table. No regrets, no holding back. Live your life the way you know it can be.

I leave you with one of my favourite quotes to live by..

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

~ Hunter S. Thompson


From Winter To Spring

I feel there are so many different chapters and seasons that we experience in our lives. Sometimes we are in winter and things feel stagnant or maybe we don’t feel as much gratitude or excitement for our future. Then, without warning or understanding, we come into spring and slam full-on into summer. We can’t wait to get out into the world and play. We’re inspired, filled with joy, a sense of wonder, ease and our hearts are filled with love and appreciation.

I’ve gone through many seasons and in the past months felt very much in winter. Nothing was wrong, nothing bad was happening. In fact, the opposite. Lots of great things and amazing people in my life. I just didn’t feel the deep feelings of love, gratitude or excitement that I have felt in the past, where I longed to be once again.

That all shifted a few days ago. I’m not sure I can even put my finger on what it was that created the shift. Maybe it was seeing an old family friend that has been a Spiritual teacher for me my whole life. I believe he has had a deep impact on my life, contributed to who I’ve become and living my deepest truth.

Maybe it’s that I feel my life moving more and more toward my purpose in ways I could never have imagined. Maybe it’s that I will spend my birthday swimming with dolphins, connected deeply with the sacred plant teacher ayahuasca and diving deep into my unconsious mind and spirit.

Or, maybe it’s something in the stars and how the planets are aligned…

No matter what it is or what I want to believe created the shift, I’m grateful to be moving from winter into spring and summer.

I feel gratitude so deeply again that it moves me to tears. That my heart is exploding with love that is askig to be shared. That I am once again inspired by the magnificence of this journey and every little detail of it.

What a most humbling journey! I am being shown and taught things that intuitibely knew as my deeper truth but had not be able to see with my human eyes and mind.

If you feel like you’re in winter, please know that it WILL shift. That shift is inevitable and soon you will enjoy the radiance of summer.

The more we accept and surrender to exactly where we are, the easier it will be for that shift to take place.

Maybe that means being in nature, taking care of and nurturing our child within, reading books and watching videos that speak to our souls going out into the world with curiousity and wonderment, like when we were kids, or, maybe it’s just taking a little time to do yoga or meditate.

Whatever that us for you, make time for it.

As always, our truth and happiness are in our ability and willingness to surrender into what is in the here and now.

With Deepest Gratitude I Humbly Surrender..


10 Questions to Ask If You Want to Go Deep In Your Relationship

Awaken Into Love

Nowadays, many problems are swept under the rug rather than addressed head on.  However, if you’re looking to dive deeper into your existing relationship, then it’s time to start asking some important questions.

Let’s face it… we all love taking short cuts. And, if we aren’t careful, our relationships are often taken for granted.

But too many short cuts can lead to a lazy, unintentional relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives.

If you want to shed years of emotional baggage, feel loved and cared for, and become your partner’s ultimate partner, then you probably want to keep reading.

Maybe you’ve been dating or married for several years…

Or maybe you’re just a fan of soul-shaking depth that heals you to the core…

Whatever your reason, you find yourself craving the ability to go deeper with your intimate partner.

How To Go Deeper In Your Intimate Relationships

In the day to day of our relationships, a lot of stuff can get swept under the rug. Combine that with the fact that a lot of partners don’t really get to know each other on a deep level at the beginning of their relationships (or at any point) and you could be highly prone to emotionally stepping on your partner’s toes without knowing it.

I recommend asking some of the following questions once every few months, and others on a weekly basis.

For best results, clear all distractions from your environment. Turn off your phones, close the laptops, and switch off the TV. Make sure the kids are asleep and the dog is taken care of. Clear out any and all extraneous things that could potentially ping their way in to the space that you are creating and handle them ahead of time.

It’s unbelievable how much even a thirty-minute, distractions free, emotional block busting session once per week conducted from the comfort of your bed can do for your entire relationship.

Don’t believe me? Give it ONE try, and see what comes of it. If you don’t like it you never have to do it again. But this exercise could be the exact thing you need to take your relationship from surviving to thriving.

Here are ten questions to ask to go deep in your intimate relationship.

1. Is there anything I can do for you in this moment to help you feel more comfortable or loved?

Assuming that you are kicking things off right by lying down together in a distractions free room, it’s always good to ask if your partner needs anything before you start leaning into the heavier stuff.

Just like symphony orchestra members tune to each other before they play a concert, you and your partner might need to touch base before you get in to the good stuff.

Maybe they want to lie in silence for a minute and breathe deeply. Maybe they want you to hug them and show your love with your eye contact first. Or maybe they need to quickly go and make sure that their cell phone is completely switched off. Whatever they need to settle in, let them settle. It will be worth it.

2. How can I better support you in your life?

Ahhh… the all-encompassing dream/mission/passion supporter.

Sometimes this question will spark something for your partner, and sometimes it won’t – and that’s okay.

Maybe it will come out as something as simple as “Could you please kiss me in the mornings before you get out of bed… even if you haven’t brushed your teeth ? It really affects my day for the better if you kiss me before getting up and getting dressed.” Or it could be something as large as “I’m about to take on a really huge project at work and I really don’t know how much mental bandwidth I’ll have by the time that I get home. Would you mind making dinner for the next week and I promise I’ll make it up to you after this particular work sprint dies down?”

Whatever favour they ask of you, you aren’t contractually obligated to comply. But simply by asking the question and letting them voice their honest thoughts, you will be engaging in the dance of intentional intimacy.

3. Is there anything I have done in the past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?

Alright, brace yourself… this is where we start to head into the emotionally uprooting territory of this exercise.

While I don’t believe that you need to shine a light on absolutely everything in the dark subconscious of your mind in order to have a healthy relationship, it is good to uproot the major things that get swept under the rug.

Whether it was something that you thought was insignificant, or an argument that you had that you thought was thoroughly squashed, your partner’s answer to this question might surprise you.

Receive it lovingly, with patience, and let them tell their entire side of the story without interrupting. Truly listen to them. Recognize that, even if you didn’t mean to hurt them in the slightest, it takes real vulnerability and courage for your partner to voice frustration/resentment/discomfort with something that occurred between the two of you.

Sincerely thank them for sharing their thoughts with you (it’s not an easy thing to do for most people), and follow up by apologizing for the incident, or asking what you can do or say to help them feel more complete about the event.

4. When you come home from work, what can I do or say that will make you feel the most loved?

Depending on what kind of job your partner has and how they are as an individual, they might want something entirely different from what you expect as their preferred method of being greeted.

They might want to have as little communication as possible for the first few minutes as they settle in to their new environment. Or perhaps diving right into physical affection is more their way of relating.

Whatever they need, all it takes is one simple question in order for you to better understand your partner and to go deeper in your relationship.

5. Is there any kind of physical touch that I can engage in more that helps you to feel loved?

This question refers to non-sexual touch (sexual touch is coming up soon).

Is there any kind of physical intimacy that they feel is lacking? Do they want to hold hands more? Do they love it when you play with their hair? Do they adore when you come up behind them and wrap your arms around them?

Ask, get clear on what would make them feel more loved, and then incorporate that kind of touch into your daily schedule to the best of your ability.

6. Do you think you will need more closeness or more alone time over the next couple of days?

Our individual needs for independence and intimacy vary greatly from day to day.

Maybe your partner has been having an emotionally charged week and they need an extra large dose of words of affirmation, physical intimacy, and compliments. Or maybe they are charging full steam ahead in their career and they need a bit more space as they grab their life’s steering wheel for a little while.

A greater need for independence and alone time doesn’t mean that they love you any less, and nor does a greater need for intimacy mean that they are needy. People simply have emotional needs that fluctuate depending on a huge variety of elements in their ever-changing lives. And the more you can accommodate your partner, while still being conscious of your own mental and emotional needs, the better.

7. Is there any argument that we had this past week that you feel incomplete about?

Similar to the third question in that this one directly brings up potential wounds from the previous week. By asking this in a different context, your partner gets to consider whether they thought your arguments felt complete.

You might have a gut-level resistance to asking this one (“But if I ask this… won’t they remember that they were mad and then get mad at me again!”) but working through this uncomfortable moment together will make it so that the unspoken, underlying tension is allowed to dissipate.

Have you ever heard the expression “Saying no hurts for a moment, but saying yes hurts for months”? It basically says that when we are assertive and direct with our desires, it can be uncomfortable. But if we don’t, the trade off would be the low-lying anxiety that we feel by not being true to ourselves.

This question works much in the same way. It’s so easy to ignore the difficult moments from the past week. What takes courage and strength is intentionally working through it so that the dirt between you isn’t given the chance to grow into resentment.

So be proactive… your relationship will thank you.

8. How do you feel about our sex life lately?

One of the main differences between your intimate partner and every other relationship in your life is that you (hopefully) have sex with your partner. And yet, along with money, what is ranked as the most common topic that couples cite as the most stressful thing that they don’t discuss that break them up? You guessed it… sex.

Ask your partner about their level of satisfaction with your recent sex life. Ask them if there’s anything they would like more of, less of, or even different sex acts than you’ve been having.

This question will be easier to answer the longer you’ve been in the relationship, so have some patience if you’re a new item.

9. What are the main stressors currently in your life, and is there any way can I alleviate that stress for you, if only a small amount?

An open ended question that gets people to dig deep and show their soft underbelly.

This question is the easiest way to get a window into your partner’s mind by directly asking them what they’re currently struggling with.

As with any of the questions mentioned in this article, feel free to calibrate the wording to how you naturally speak. Anything that gets across the subtext of “How can I lighten your load?” is a surefire way to increase the feelings of depth and connectedness in your relationship.

10. When do you find speaking difficult and how can I best support you through those moments?

This one is one of the questions that you can ask every few months or so, and boy is it ever powerful.

Everyone has different emotional triggers that make them feel vulnerable in a variety of different situations.

Maybe your partner feels easily attacked when you do something that they interpret as criticizing them publicly. Maybe your partner tends to shut down when you argue about certain emotionally charged topics like sex, finances, or the in-laws. Or maybe something could happen in the bedroom that makes them feel inadequate or embarrassed.

Whatever the reason may be, there’s always a way around it that could make your partner feel a lot more cared for and loved.

I had one client of mine establish a non-verbal hand signal for when they were feeling attacked or vulnerable (it was a two-fingered peace sign held over his heart). When he used this sign it communicated to his partner – when words failed him – that he was feeling like he had his back against the wall and he needed her to be more loving.

To this particular couple, the peace sign meant a number of things. It meant that they were going to take a two-second breather, and that they were remembering to engage with each other from a place of peace and love. It meant that no matter what they were fighting about, they were allowed to take a breath and come back to it with a calmer and more loving communication style.

While this is just one example of a way that someone can be loved through difficult moments, there are countless other ways that you and your partner can love each other through the tough times. And the only way you’ll figure out what works for you as individuals is to talk it out.

The Most Efficient Way To De-Clutter Your Relationship

I’m not suggesting that you become codependent-ly obsessed with solving all of your partner’s troubles around the clock. And nor does every topic need to be talked to death. Some of these questions will speak to you more than others and that’s just fine. This exercise is merely meant to start the conversation that very few couples ever have with each other.

A lot of things tend to get swept under the rug in intimate relationships. The questions outlined above are simply a tool that you can use to lift up the rug, sweep out the accumulated muck, and get on your with awesome lives as a happily connected couple.

Do you love the questions outlined above? Share it with your friends on social media and help the world grow emotionally.

This post originally appeared at JordanGrayConsulting.com

Follow Your Truth

Follow Your Truth

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We all go through times of self doubt and we all need reminding of who we really are so we can stay on our heart centred path. – Especially those who are on a deep spiritual journey.  It can feel lonely at times.  I assure you, you are not alone. Friends and families might think you’re crazy, judge your lifestyle or how you live your life.  Don’t you dare listen to them.. you know your truth.  Stay true to that.

There’s a calling inside of us, deep in our hearts.  There’s an innate knowing that we’re here to love deeply and to share that love no matter the circumstances. The daily dramas and tasks are so minute compared to what we’re here for and what is out there that our shortsighted minds can’t wrap around.  I know you can feel it.

I want you to know that you’re here for a great purpose. I’m here to remind you in times of challenges and uncertainty that you are loved.  You ARE love.  And you are here to share that with others.  You are here to help heal and change this planet. You are here to help shift the consciousness of our world.  You are here to have fun, play, love, laugh, share and do a whole bunch of crazy stuff.

In times of question or self-doubt, always remember your strength, your purpose, your wisdom and your heart.  You are a magnificent being and you are loved deeply by Source.  Source will always be with you and bring you signs of how to help humanity and the world.  There will be many signs, listen, you can trust them.

Don’t ever let the outside world affect your capacity to love and share that love.
Do whatever you have to on this journey to stay connected with your Source and continue to allow it to guide you.  Don’t you dare ever give up on or question your truth, never.  You are here for great things.

We don’t know what our journey will bring us but we should know we are only here to enjoy the ride. It is useless to judge because only the universe knows what is really happening. When you follow your heart and your instincts – only good can come from that.

Good is that which feels good and comes only from your heart.

Be Blessed,



Love Without Rules

Love Without Rules


What if the love the we share with that special person really has nothing to do with them?
What if we are just looking for the right setup, love rules, trust and circumstances to express the love that is already inside our hearts?
What if we threw caution to the wind, let go of the rules and just loved that way all the time? No reason, no fear and just let it all hang out…

I’ve thought about and asked these questions a few times in my life.
I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter who I choose and whether I think the circumstance are “right” to be vulnerable and share my love.  It takes courage and a longing for something deeper to love beyond our own rules, control and expectations.

When we put our expectations on others to act and react the way we would, we take away the possibility of ever experiencing true and authentic love.  Loving isn’t about trying to mould another to fit our image of who and how we think they should be. Love is about coming from that place that is never unwavering by another. A place that is and has always been inside of us. A place we can access anytime, anywhere and whenever we choose to connect with it.
There’s no ego, no rules, no expectations, just vulnerability and authentic love, compassion, kindness and nurturing for ourselves and others.

Find, remind yourself, come back to or let go of whatever you have to so that your beautiful heart is felt by anyone who crosses your path. That love is not meant to be shared with only one or a few, it’s meant to be shared with the whole world.

At the end of the day it’s really about who you CHOOSE to share your love with and that it’s not something that is only reserved for that one man or woman that meet all your rules of love. You can love anyone that deeply no matter who they are.

Don’t wait for the perfect person or circumstances to share your love. Choose to love because that is your true nature and what has always been inside of you.